Fall :)

I LOVE this time of year. We've been doing so many fun things. Halloween, Corn Maizes and the fair. It's been a while and I have a ton of fabulous pics to post as soon as i get time! So for now, just wanted to fill my blog readers in on life. Austin is good. He's had a bit of a hard time lately. Maybe it's being 4. Maybe it's being abandoned by his dad. Maybe it's just being a brat. But I think things will work themselves out. He's strong and resiliant and will come through.

My spritual walk has come full circle and I love the things God is blessing me. I couldn't have asked for anything more for October 2009. I'm blessed to be employed. I love my family. I love my friends and my church. My dad and I have gotten so much closer and I am really loving having a stronger relationship with him.

In addition, I met someone. :) We met at my church Lifehouse group and instantly felt a connection, unlike any. I'm grateful for him in every way. He's smart and handsome. Funny and kind. Respectful. Patient and sweet to Austin. And he's Godly and that's the major trait I need in a man I want to be with. I couldn't have designed him to fit me better honestly. We have so much in common and have so much fun with one another. He is constantly impressing me with his ambitious goals and sweet spirit. I look forward to what the future holds with John Mark.

Cowboys...

Austin is perpetually obsessed with cowboys. And trucks, firetrucks, ambulances, fast cars, animals, dirt, trains, dinosaurs, farms, football, little birdies, girlfriends, cheese, I could go on and on...

About 2 weeks ago, he got new cowboy boots to replace the cute little size 7's he'd outgrown. He had to look sharp for my aunt's wedding of course ;) So he decides he wants to wear them Sunday to church. Every morning he has a routine to follow. Get dressed. pee. spike hair. gummy bear vitamin. brush teeth. cologne (yes I know...it's just Axe body spray. He's such a little man). and then breakfast of course.

So I said, "Austin..come brush your teeth!"

He says, "Mama! Cowboys don't even brush their teeth!"

"Well Austin, actually cowboys do what their mama says!"

"Oh no mama. Cowboys don't even have mama's."

This kid. Hilarious. Needless to say, he came and brushed his teeth!

Prayer Gathering

Monday nights you can find me at Prayer Gathering. I love this hour of prayer and worship and look forward to it each week. Austin also loves to go play in the children's center. After it was over this week, I picked him up and his 2 teachers handed me an index card where he had written his name. Nothing new here..he's been doing that for months. But on the other side, was Austin's prayer to God. As I start reading it, I am immediately overwhelmed with emotion. I can't even speak really and I ask Miss Sarah what brought this on...why he wanted to say these things...

His other teacher pipes in and says they were talking about Trust and Worry. And putting your trust in the Lord and letting him take care of your worries. So my 4 yr old says he was worried about his daddy. When the teacher asked him what he wanted her to write on the card as his prayer, he says, "Dear God, Thank you for this day. Thank you for my dad. Please take care of my dad while he is in Minnesota."

You can see why I was brought to tears and filled with emotion. He hasn't seen his dad in a year and a half. He still thinks about him, worries about him, loves him, feels abandoned, prays for him and asks God to watch over him...

I am extremely blessed and lucky. Blessed to be raising him by myself even. Some children don't get to be raised by even one of their parents. I know that I can set the example within him and show him how to be a good man and a Godly person. I am blessed with a happy, outgoing, beautiful (no, really), resillient little boy and I wouldn't have it any other way!

26?!

So my birthday came and went and it was amazing!!! I have to say my girl Becky made it super special for me :) In the middle of the night, she came and decorated my car with car paint, confetti and streamers. When Austin and came out Thursday morning to go to school, in amazement, he says, "Mama! Someone had a birthday party for our car!" She wrote on my windows...26!, Hot mama, Birthday girl and on Austin's window, "and I'm 4!" I was cracking up. I get to work and my desk is covered in confetti and a bouquet of flowers. She also got me 2 cards and a chocolate cake :) And some jewelry! So sweet. I went to dinner with my dad, step mom, g-parents and my brother at Cheddars. They gave me a new purse, giftcard to Red Lobster, $20 bucks and a gift certificate to the bead story. My jewelry making hobby takes up all my extra money and time. I love it. I need to post pics so if anyone wants to make a request, I'll take em. I'll ship it to ya too :)

After dinner, my sweet grandma came to babysit and my friends made me go out to the Piano bar. I love love love Louie Louie's and it really was a blast. Going to work was a little hard Friday but you only have one birthday a year right?! I was so ready to go stay with my family for the Labor day weekend. Usually we're in Taos this time of year but we have had a blast this weekend. My grandma came with us and we've been playing board games, eating amazing food, doing myspace karaoke and tonight we're gonna be making jewelry. We'll see if I can get all my fam addicted too. My aunt and uncle are coming over and I absolutely love this family time :) It doesn't get much better.

Austin is loving pre-k. He's officially a Frenship Tiger and getting smarter by the day. Last night he told me the moon was a waxing moon. I didn't even know what that was? He's been so funny lately, saying things like, "Excuse me ladies!" when we go somewhere. Or "you can call me Sir, cause I'm a man." And almost daily, he'll say, "....Cause that's what men do."

Austin had an amazing summer. He went to the lake with Ty and Mark, & Grammy and Pappy. He caught 2 perch and managed to tell everyone he would be eating Pappy's fish cause it was the biggest. And everyone would be eating broccoli with their fish, but not him.



Last night he was playing outside and went on a frog hunt. He was laughing so hard but too scared to touch the frog he caught. He named him Croakie. He was entertained for at least an hour. Summer nights :) It's beginning to feel like fall though and I love it. Next weekend we're going to an Apple Butter festival and this fall we plan on going to the Corn field maize, a Tech game and the South Plains Fair. I love this time of year! Life is good. We are blessed :)

Summer!

Has gone by so fast! I can't believe I haven't blogged much lately but between work, Facebook, and being a single mom, I haven't really had time. My divorce was final on Monday. It's been a long 3 years and when it was all said and done, I was kind of left feeling sad and overwhelmed. I knew it was inevitable and I had been used to living as a divorced woman for so long, but it was still the end to a huge chapter in my life. I still miss him. I still think about how things would be if we were together. How mine and Austin's lives would be so different. But things happen for a reason and I am blessed none the less. I have faith that I will find love again and have the family I've always dreamt about :)

Austin starts pre-k on August 24th. Thankfully we qualifed and he is proud to become a Frenship Tiger. He will be going to Bennett Elementary for half a day and then we found a new wonderful lady to keep him for the rest of the day. She has 3 kids of her own and I think Austin will do great with her. I've had him in 4 different places since we moved to Lubbock and have had issues with each other. Hopefully this will be the place to stay until we move on to bigger and better things.

With that being said, my plan is right now to move to Colorado Springs. I went up in July with my best friends and fell in love with it. I am ready to get out of Lubbock and see what else is out there. I've applied to several jobs but they all needed me to start immediately. So at this point, I'm just gonna wait until I get my income taxes in February, rent a Uhaul and go where the wind blows! I can't wait. I feel like I'm finally doing this for myself. After Clay left me, I had to move back to Texas to find myself again and pick up the peices of a broken heart. My family has been great but I know Lubbock isn't where I want to be.

Everything else is going good. Work has been insane busy! We're doing turn right now where our residents move out and move back in and I've gotten a lot of overtime. Austin has been lucky to go see his Grammy and Pappy the last few weekends because I'm working so much.

We've been going to a new Church since April and really like it. I don't know exactly what I think about everything but I just feeling like I'm doing what's right and I have faith. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and Austin and will watch over both of us. www.experiencelifenow.com As of now, I feel like there's a reason that I'm supposed to be at Elife.

I can't believe I'm almost 26! Where did the last few years go?! Can't wait to see my best friends for my birthday! I'll try to update more often :)

Colorado Springs

For July 4th, Austin and i took off to Colorado with my long time best friend Monica and her family to see our other best friend Dawn and her family. It was a blast!!! Our kids got to meet for the first time and we tried to pack up our weekend and make it memorable for the kids. We got there Friday morning and got ready to go to the zoo. It is the highest National Zoo in the US at like 6000 ft. or something. We got to feed the giraffes crackers, which was so funny! They have like 2 ft long purple tongues and just wrap their tongue around the cracker and take it out of your hand. It's amazing how each animal has a purpose and was created for a specific reason. Each time we saw one of our favorite animals, we had to name them Gloria, Melman or King Julian. Austin and the kids had a blast! The whole weekend it rained off and on.

That night we went to see the Sky Sox play. It's Colorado Springs' minor league baseball team. After it poured rain for 45 mins, we were finally able to get our seats and dry off the stadium. The Sky Sox won and after the show, they put on a huge fireworks show! The kids loved it.


I couldn't have asked for a better weekend with my girls and our babies :)

Shawn

My brother has been in a place called Safe-P for 6 months. He now has to go to a halfway house for 90 days to readjust to the real world and get everything together before they release him back into the wild. :) He's learned a lot, beat his addiction and is doing great. I have a feeling he's going to prove everybody wrong and really get it right this time. He's been out 2 weeks and has already gotten a job! I know the Lord is going to take care of him. He's such a great person and everyone really does deserve second chances. We went to see him last weekend with my mom and grandma. Austin was so excited to see his Unkie after 6 months!

The bird...

So thanks to my sweet dad for finally cleaning out my garage that has been so patiently storing my brother's belongings for a year and a half. So we were outside, carrying in my groceries through the garage (which is so nice) when Austin comes in the kitchen holding a dead black bird. He says, "Momma...this bird got dead!" My first impulse wasn't fear of the bird, but of my precious son holding a dead animal! So of course, I screamed. Then he screamed, dropped the bird and literally burst into tears. It's crazy how emotions can change from happy to histerics in a matter of seconds. He kept saying, "I'm so sorry mommy..i didn't mean to." He thought he was in trouble...poor little thing. I reassured him I wasn't upset with him and went to wash his hands and bleach the kitchen floor. After I carried the dead bird outside, we both just started giggling. It really was funny. My little boy has such a sweet spirit and so much love for life. I'm so grateful for the joy that he brings me.

Mother's day

My day was filled with love and joy. Just how it should be. I made Austin breakfast in bed because I have no one to do that for me. He was pretty excited about his eggs and toast. We went to church and listened to a wonderful start to a series about raising your children in the Lord. I'm so glad I'm instilling the love of Christ in him at his eager young age.

We watched Marley and Me, which is sooo good. I cried like a baby. I had no idea what to expect but it exceeded my preconceived notions about another movie about a dog. We stopped by dad's to give Linda her mother's day present which she really liked. Her and I made a necklace and earrings to match the bracelet she gave me for Mother's day. It was fun.

I can't really say that I'm eager to go back to work tomorrow. I am so looking ahead to the future and planning out how i want things to be, that aren't the way i wish they were. I want to go back to school because I can't see myself doing this forever.

Anyways, here's some pics of the day I became a mommy and my life truly began.

Paying it forward

What a great week! Last weekend we rented a bunch of movies and had some friends over for dinner. I made green chili chicken pizza which was super yummy! We had a great time at church. I'm learning so much! Austin is really liking it too. Monday I was super excited for my weigh in cause I knew it might go well! So far I'm down 28.8!! Yay!! Almost to 30 lost, which sounds like a lot to me! I took measurements tonight and had probably lost 15 inches since January when I measured last! I gave away some clothes that were too big today and boy did that feel awesome!

I was reading about a pastor that gave $10,000 to his congregation over Christmas break. He gave out increments of $5, $10, $25, $50, $100 and $250 and asked them to pay it forward! I was extremely motivated after all the stories of read of how they spent their money. I've always really liked things like this, and random acts of service anyways. So this morning I stopped at the store for a diet coke and there was a guy in front of me. All he had was a gallon of milk and when the cashier ran his card, it was declined. So he quietly said, "it's okay...i'll put it back." I instantly said NO! "Let me get it for you." He was really hesitant but after he saw how serious I was, he let me get the milk for him. I've been the mom whose card got declined at the register. I've been the mom who couldn't buy milk. All I could think was, What if he's got children at home who just want some milk for their breakfast! It was so rewarding and I'll gladly spend $5 on a diet coke to make someones day again.

Mom and I are going to see my brother this weekend. His birthday is tomorrow and he's going to be so excited to see us! Austin made a video for him singing happy birthday. Hopefully he'll be back in Lubbock sometime this summer. Oh the week is almost over! I live for weekends!!! :)